I am so excited and expectant about the second Influence for Men Conference. The first one was a great success and the organisers received excellent feedback and demand for more meetings. I am thankful to them for agreeing to put on another Day Conference for men.
There is a huge difference between men and women which has left a lot of men really struggling with this whole migration thing. Women are more likely to talk to other women when they have a problem or need to make a decision. Men keep their problems to themselves and don’t see the point in sharing personal issues.
Men aren’t good at small talk. They don’t form trusting relationships as fast and as easily as women. In fact, you might say that when a woman walks into a room she looks for people to talk with and relate to. When a man walks into a room he is plotting his escape strategy and looking for the exit door! So men need a forum and a place to forge good strong friendships which over time will become open enough for conversation about stuff other than what they do for work or the football etc. If this isn’t encouraged most men will go into a default “loner” mode. I always wonder why my husband has very few friends but have now realised that it’s a man thing.
As a woman I have seen that most of our problems emanate from men. In my work and in ministry I meet many women who have been hurt badly by men. There is saying that hurt people hurt others. The men themselves are hurting and they don’t have anywhere to share and talk about the challenges that they face.
I am so excited that Gibson Fugede started Influence for Men. This is a platform where men meet and talk about their experiences and encourage each other in a Godly manner. It’s not Church. I have to stress that it’s not traditional Church. Many men I have invited asked me “Is it Church? “ I said no its not. Because it’s not Church as we know it. It’s a platform where men are so open and real. There is no singing, no offering, no flowers, and no decorative cloths. It’s just a safe place where men can meet and be real. There is no pressure to join or to sign up to anything. Just come as you are.
I talk to the guys who are working on this and I am blown away by some of the stories that are being shared. Here are some snippets of some of the stories
• One of the guys has had his family restored after he left his wife and children. He talks about how he turned his life away after it had been destroyed by the love of alcohol and women. He is now a responsible father and has made it up to his wife and children. Some guys have had their families and lives destroyed by drugs and alcohol but there is always hope and it’s never too late to turn the situation around
• One of the men has struggled for years with severe mental illness UNTIL Jesus touched and transformed his life.
• Another talks of serving a prison sentence. How it feels to disappoint your parents and let your children down BUT then God touches and transforms your life and sets you free from all that baggage.
• What about the man who struggled for years without having immigration status? But after he got his papers worked so hard and transformed his family’s life. He has gained the lost confidence, lost years and low self esteem.
• What about the man who has experienced years of verbal, emotional and psychological abuse from his wife? He has been too ashamed to talk about it or to break free? He managed to leave the abuse relationship and restart his life afresh and now is happily married. Men can be victims too and just as women are encouraged to seek help so are men encouraged to seek help and stay safe.
This is Real talk! Real Men! Real issues and Real life.
Jesus is in the business of transforming lives. Men struggle with rejection, with low self esteem, with addictions, with displacement and they have fears, lost hopes and dreams. This Conference will inspire men to know who they are in Christ. To know how to turn their life around and find hope in this world.
This day conference is for
• the man who has never had anyone to tell them how to be a father, husband and a Man. The boy who has never had a male role model and has not had the chance to speak to other men and to hear how they overcome the challenges that they are facing. The challenges may be big or they maybe small but it’s important to them. You see there is nothing that is too small or insignificant for God to deal with.
• The man who is addicted to alcohol and doesn’t know how to stop. The man who has just left his wife and children just walked out on his family and is struggling with the guilt, wants to go back but doesn’t know how.
• The man who has only ever seen women being beaten disrespected and treated badly and is struggling in his marriage.
• It’s for that man who is struggling with settling in a foreign country, he was a CEO in his home country and is now a Care Assistant. From Boardroom to Sluice room.
• The man who is stuck in an abusive relationship.
Please join Influence for Men tomorrow at the Ramada Hotel CV1 3GG in Coventry it’s free! Starting at 10 am promptly. The speakers are Gibson Fugede, Muchada Bvunzawabaya, Terry Jackson and Pastor Alex all the way from Holland and Rumbi Bvunzawabaya.